Getting More by Stuart Diamond

If you want to get to a negotiated agreement more often, this is the book for you.

It’s also the first book on negotiation I’ve ever read that focuses on the human angles of negotiation.  For me, that makes it a winner.

The book’s basic premise is very simple:  What are my goals, who am I trying to reach agreement with and what will it take to persuade them.

That approach forces you to try to get inside what the other side are thinking, and what’s a win for them.  Powerful?  Incredibly so.

The first part of Getting More describes negotiation tools you can use.  It explores:

  • Why goals are paramount – why it’s critical to be very clear about where you’re trying to get to and why you shouldn’t  get distracted from where you’re going
  • It’s about them – what are the thoughts, preconceptions and pictures in their heads?
  • Make emotional payments – recognise that when people are emotional, they’re not listening and therefore they can’t be persuaded
  • Every situation is different – people are always different, so one-size-fits-all tactics won’t work
  • Incremental is best – getting people to make big shifts is accomplished in small steps
  • Trade things of unequal value – things of great value to you might have little value to them and vica versa.  What can you give on to get?
  • Find their standards – use their views or statements of what is right to move closer to your goal
  • Be incremental and constructive, not manipulative – don’t be something you’re not.  Be honest and real.
  • Always communicate, state the obvious, frame the vision – you can’t get closer to your goal if there isn’t good communication going on.  How can you restate the objective in terms of a vision everybody can agree to?
  • Find the real problem and make it an opportunity – don’t just look at the obvious – what’s underlying this obstacle and how can it be used to move forwards?
  • Embrace differences – just because we’re different doesn’t mean we can’t move forwards.  How can those differences help us?
  • Prepare – make a list and practice with it – take the time to think things through and decide what negotiation tools could be effective and how to use them.

Getting More describes each of these points in detail, and then moves on to a number of real world negotiation scenarios with loads of great examples of how they can be used.

Getting More should be required reading for anybody in the business of persuasion – and it might even help you get on better with your partner too!

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Here’s what to do next

If you’re interested in how this could help you, or feel I may be able to help you with some of the challenges you’re facing, please get in touch for an informal discussion.

There’s no commitment, we’ll just discuss your situation to see if working together might be a good fit.  Contact me now.

Best regards

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